Posts Tagged ‘personal’

Exactly one year ago, my life changed. While trying to drive home drunk from a local show that I performed at, I crashed my vehicle head on into a tree, totaling it. If not for the airbag, I most likely would have been killed, and it was pure luck that nobody else was on the road around me at the time. This single event, the result of my own stupidity and poor decisions, has made a large impact on my life. The obvious effects are all of the time and money wasted due to the legal repercussions, but really that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Part of the consequences of my actions included a falling out with my creative partner and friend of 18 years. This, in turn, resulted in my departure from Triple Vision, a group that I co-founded and a name I have been representing for a decade and a half. Between all of this and a sudden forced sobriety, I was kind of lost. It felt like a big chunk of myself was torn from me. And getting fed through the system didn’t help matters at all. My heart was full of sorrow and my mind was clouded with anger.

I could have let all of this negativity devour me, as I knew it wanted to, as I might have done in the past. But I didn’t. Instead, I used it as a learning experience. And with the help of a few loving, supportive people, I transformed that energy into positivity and rode the wave of momentum. I booked a summer of shows, rocked them all and collected lots of clothes and food that was donated to those in need. I got my defaulted student loan paid off and went back to school. I finished my drug and alcohol counseling without a hitch and even learned some things in the process. Slowly but surely, I made progress on music for three different projects. I even scored my first (and second!) television appearance. Plus, I got back into my writing, which I’ve been wanting to do for years. And all of this while maintaining a great relationship with my awesome girlfriend, which is an amazing achievement in and of itself, considering I was single for 9 years prior. Oh yeah, and I remained completely clean and sober throughout it all, which I still am.

Don’t misunderstand me as bragging when I say that I have accomplished great things against the odds this past year, because I’ve also sacrificed a great deal. In retrospect, I realize that what I lost was mostly my own fault, but I must also acknowledge that what I have gained is largely the results of my efforts and desire to not slip into the downward spiral. And I don’t want any recognition, because personal gratification is more than enough for me. The only reason I even share this story is in the hopes that you will read this and, maybe one day down the road when the darkness becomes almost unbearable, remember that you are not alone. The people close to you can help you find the strength to overcome. But also remember that, ultimately, that power lies within yourself.

JVB a.k.a. DOE, etc.